If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.

10:31am: Dreaming
I usually don't pay the dreams I have in my sleep much mind -- mostly because half the time they don't make any sense and I rarely remember them after the fact anyway.

But last night I had one so vivid that I remember almost every detail. Pretty sure it meant something too, considering the subject matter.

( The dream )

And then the alarm went off. Other than being a little tired (I really need to stop crashing at 2 a.m.), I feel like a weight lifted off my shoulders. Things are calmer in my head, and even though I know I have a long way to go, this was something I needed.

I just know it.

12:53pm: I really hope FOX gives Dollhouse a decent chance to get a following, cause I thought the pilot was really good. I think the show has a lot of potential, and I hope the network lets it breathe and mature a little. Considering how FOX has marketed the hell out of the show, I feel a little confident, even though the network did the same with Drive, another show I liked that got the axe way too soon.

Still, I like Dollhouse. Maybe I found the replacement for Heroes, which I am officially done with after struggling through half of the season 4 premeire online.

10:48pm: Ugh, Credit
I need to get a credit card. But I don't want to get a credit card.

I need to buy a mattress, and I tried to finance one today. But my credit application was denied -- even though I know I have a very good credit score. I can still finance the mattress, thanks to the store's "no credit check" plan, but still ... I thought I was in the clear.

I haven't been told why I was denied yet, but some independent research tells me some bureaus will deny a credit app because the person doesn't have enough credit. Other than my Dell account and the student loans I'm repaying, I have no other open accounts in my credit report. Apparently, they want you to have at least three at a time.

Which is where credit cards -- the one thing I don't want right now -- could come in. I just have to be very careful with it.

Sometimes I think this whole being a grown up thing is horribly overrated.